Sunday, June 21, 2009

Why gays shouldn't be allowed in the military

I think the reason gays shouldn't be allowed in the military is because of the atrocities they will commit when invading a defenseless country. Since gays are gay, they prefer men.

Imagine this scenario: the gays storm a helpless village in some country full of non-whites. They kill all the women and then rape the men.

This above scenario is very real and has happened and is happening right now, except it's reversed. Right now since the people in the military are straight they kill the men and rape the women. This is fine because they're killing men.

If gays were in the military they would kill the women and that's not kosher.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Women with short hair

I think it's fine if a woman wants to cut her hair short. She's sporty, independent, strong and most importantly: equal. If a woman wants to cut her hair short like a man, thats her choice. But she will have to accept being treated like a man: punched in the face.

New scientific evidence suggests humans evolved from chickens.

Go infront of the mirror and take off your shirt. Now bend one of your arms and look at it. Doesn't it look like a piece of chicken wing from El Pollo Loco?

Okay now take off your pants. Look at your legs from the top of your thigh to your feet. Imagine you didn't have any feet. Doesn't your leg look like a chicken drum stick?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Cancer research

I think they should stop researching a cure for cancer. If you get cancer then it was meant to be. That's how it is in the animal kingdom. If some bear is born with half an ass, he's going to die. Other bears don't rush to his aid and try to find a cure for only having half an ass. The other bears make fun of that half assed bear until he leaves the village and dies. That's how it works. That's how mother nature wanted things. Don't go against the grain.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Midget fucker

When midgets masturbate, do they think about hot midget girls or normal sized girls? Do hot midget girls even exist? Even if they do, I'd still never fuck a midget. Something about it makes me feel uneasy. You know she's 45 years old, but you still feel like a pedophile.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Almost 200 email responses within 24 hours

God damn. I received almost two hundred emails from horny men ranging from young mechanics working in a garage to sixty year old lawyers wanting to cheat on their wives. A lot of the men attached mugshots of their faces and dicks. These people have no clue. Wheres the romance?

This is disconcerting because many of the men emailing me with long personalized emails are pretty good looking(no homo). A lot of them have normal lives and families.

Most of them of course are just single lonely men who jump at the chance to have sex: even if it's with an old no legged one armed divorced woman. If I would have said I was also blind with an eye patch, my results would probably be the same.

Hell, I might have gotten even more emails. Some men like pirate girls. Or maybe they'll just fuck anything.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Jesus fucking christ. Not five minutes went by

Not five minutes went by and I have twenty emails in my inbox regarding the sex with a handicapped woman post I made on craiglist. Here are some of the funnier ones. I'll post more tomorrow when my inbox is totally flooded.

(This guy sent me a picture. He looks like a Viking)
Hi,
My name is JB. i am a 25 year old white male here in city of orange. I stand 6' tall, blonde hair and green eyes, 215lbs, muscular and tan skin. I have always had a fantasy of having sex with a handicapped woman. I am clean, drug and disease free, well hung, and very openminded. would love to chat. let me know if you are interested.

thanks!

JB


(This guy sent me a picture of his face. He looks like that black R&B singer Usher)
21/m/blk/7in cut (if that matters)/6'6/ looking for a fun time. If interested lets talk about what your looking for till you feel comfortable ... serious and real guy here..

(This guy sent me two pictures of his fat face and one of his dick)
I am always on the look out for fun, laughter. Sex and just being me. I am easy going down to earth. Easy to get along with. Real considerate of others to have a good time with but also show a good time to.

(This guy seemed concerned about my safety. He told me to be careful because there are tons of perverts on craiglist. He even sent me a picture of himself. He's too handsome to be scoping out handicapped chicks on the internet.)
Hi Rachael

I'm a 24 year old college boy.. I want to fuck you... I think its a turn on...
I'm 6ft... 170 pounds. Green hazel eyes

Send me your pic. Here's mine

(This guy is pretty funny. If I really were a handicapped old chick I'd nail this guy)
Hey! We should get together!
I guess you could say I'm handicapped as well. I have 1 ear and crooked jawline.
I am 25 5'6 130lbs and 8in and thick. Multiple cummer too!
Shoot me back an email and I'll send you my pic.

(I think this guy is onto me)
you type very well for only having 1 good arm.......

(This guy fucked his aunt. He also sent me his picture. He looks emo)
Hi, my name is Mark, I'm 23, Filipino, an exchange student here in CA and I play and teach piano on the side. My wife is working tonight, tomorrow night(Monday) and Tuesday night. I have strong fetish and desire for older women and in turns me on.
I'm open to try anything except drugs and must be disease free. I am clean, cut, and STD free. I love going down, and I'm not into partner pressure, so if you're not down with that, no worries. I've been sexually active since I was 14 yrs old since i had my first with my Aunt. I'm 5'5" and 110 lbs, skinny but huge stamina and sexual drive. I am a gentleman and act like it. I'm looking for no strings attached, pure pleasure for both of us, may happen once or frequent. Picture attached.


(This guy is also handicapped. If two handicapped people have children, are the children born handicapped? He sent his number and yahoo messenger info. I censored it for his sake though)

Hi there, Sweetheart. I'm Gary "WILD TONGUE" (949) 322-****. Your name / number - area code? Are you on YAHOO? Can i get your YAHOO? My YAHOO is : mar***2k . PLEASE. I'm a amputee, lost my L arm, and I'm also legally blind. I have a "WILD TONGUE", and I love to "EAT" pussy. I really would like to be best friends! I want to be YOUR, SEX toy! I'm serious! Try me, you'll like me! Take care, Sweetheart.
LOVE YA
Lustfully Your's
Gary "WILD TONGUE"
PS: your name / number - area code. Your YAHOO : Please. Thank You. I can't wait to hear from you! Call me!!!

Sent from my iPod

(this....guys...talks...like...this....I..edited..out..his...phone..number...for...his...sake...)

hi,, how are you doing ? i hope you are doing goo... first of all let me introduce myself, my name is George 30 years of age ,, in anaheim... i saw your ad on craigslist,, i would like to get in contact with you so we can establish first a friendship,,, and get to know you , and be there when you need me.... iam single ,, and iam interested on you,, if you can please give me a chance to get to know me,, please get back at me you can call me directly at my cell 714-737-**** anytime,, or email me at ********@yahoo.com ,, you can either write me or call me anytime,,, just give me a chance to get to know you and you would see what kind of person iam.... thanks for your time,,, take care , ill be waiting for your answer ,,, tomorrow i will be at fullerton working,,,, by orangethorpe and harbor,,,,, take care,,,

George

(This guy gave me his phone number, work address and sent me two photos. He wrote in all capital letters and his photos are creepy. He looks like a serial killer. I edited out his address and phone number of course)

CALL ME OR TXT ME I WOULD LIKE TO MEET U SOMEDAY OR ASAP OK I WORK AT *****CULVER DRIVE IRVINE CA***** IAM MECHANIC GUY OK SO IF WANT TO COME OVER AND SAY HI SOMEDAY I WILL BE WAITING U I PREFER AT MORNING OK IAM HERE FROM 8AM TO 6PM AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW U MY SEX ORAL SKILLS I LOVE MATURE PUSSY TXT ME OR CALL ME 714******* HUGO HERE IS MY PICS

(I, I, I, I. All this guy does is talk about himself. What about me? What about my feeling? It must be an 100% Italian thing, like talking with your hands)
Hi my name is Joey. I'm 100% Italian. I live in Laguna Hills . I grew up in Mission Viejo . I have a great job I'm a Mortgage Banker. I love to joke and laugh. It makes me happy when I can put a smile on someone’s face life is 2 sort to be mad. I love to go on trips even if it is just for the da y. I sometimes get in my car and just drive. I love Vegas too. I also like going for walks going out to dinner and I love to cook. I also like to stay home and kick up the feet and watch a movie. My goal is to meet that special someone that makes me sm,ile and makes my heart skip a beat., I love to show my love even if it is just saying I love u. I want u to be my best friend and lover hope to hear from you soon and thans for taking the time to read this

(Holy shit. This guy is just like me. He's fat, he's Asian, his name is Bruce, he has a small dick and he's not looking for anything long term. He sent me a picture too. Now I know what I'll look like when I'm older)
Hello

Hope this is a real posting - I'm for real

No Long Term here, Just looking for FWB - friends with benefits.

My name is Bruce, 60 yo Japanese American, Separated, Smoking again, Overweight with a fluffy body. And a tiny mushroom that shopped working

I would like to hang out time to time, I give great full body massages BOTH type the regular way and the wink wink way. Plus 90% will be for your pleasure.

can chat on AOL or Yahoo *******@aol.com or @yahoo.com
hope we can some crazy fun.


(This guy doesn't use "your" in proper context. He also likes saggy tits and hairy pits)
What kind of sex do you like ? Does oral work for you ? If so, you must be very clean. I would love to help you if oral suits you - you will cum.

I'm married, needing release more often than once a week. You are most likely a perfect fit since I assume your CLEAN. I'm very clean also, and have not had sex with anyone but the wife. If your interested, maybe the wife would like to watch.

let me know how you feel about this ?

I also like hairy armpits and saggy tits are a total turn on.

thanks steve

(This guy sounds like a creep. I wouldn't mind having him clean my house though, especially my bathroom.)
Hello,

Not sure if you are into this but I am a nice guy around mid 40 I am in very good shape and told I look yunger. So whats my thing? Well I would like to meet a nice woman that would enjoy having me be her house boy cleaner and servant. I would do this a couple times a month for you if it works out. If you are curious write back and we can go over your house rules.

Thank you

Would men fuck anything?

I wanted to find out if men in my area are desparate for sex. I posted an ad on craiglist posing as a handicapped woman seeking a male companion. Below is the post I made. I will post the email responses I get from these unsuspecting men once they're available.


Handicapped woman seeking man for sex - w4m - 47 (Fullerton)

Date: 2009-06-07, 8:37PM PDT



Hello boys. I really don't know how to say this, but I'm just kinda looking for sex. I feel embarassed for saying this, but I haven't had sex since my husband left me. I don't have any legs and only one of my arms work(long story. boating accident). I currently work from home and have some inhome assistance. I'm usually free any time during the week since my work schedule is flexible.

I have light brown hair and hazel eyes. I would be about 5'9 if I had legs and people say I look younger than my age. I'm looking for men between the ages of 25-60. I'm really not that picky as long as you're clean and well mannered. I'm sorry I can't post a picture here because if my family sees this it would be so embarassing for me. Please email me if you're interested and maybe we can swap pictures and possibly get together.

Rachael


Location: Fullerton
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Friday, June 5, 2009

Bush Bush 2012 !!!

It's obvious what Obama is doing isn't working. The Europeans ignore us, the Chinese own us and the Arabs no longer fear us. Obama foreign policy just isn't compatible with the kind of world we're living in. Instead of apologizing and trying to find equal ground, he should be threatening them with invasion, rape and pillage. Afterall; who has has more missiles? Who has bigger dicks?

What we need is a man who will back his shit up. A man who will invade your village and bill you for his time. What we need is the Bush team back in office. George Bush senior and George W. Bush junior. Imagine that; a kickass father and son team on a mission to kill brown people. This country will quickly regain it's status as the most feared and respected nation. It'll be like the 50's all over again.

Bush junior would be vice president while Bush senior takes the presidency. Father knows best.

Bush Bush 2012. Four more years!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Mexicans

What I like about Mexicans is that they're just like the Chinese: dirty on the outside, but clean on the inside.