You get invited over to a family dinner by a friend who just so happens to be Chinese. You sit around the dinner table with them and everyone starts eating. You take a few pieces from a dish, eat it and then ask them what it is because you love it so much.
The mother and father look at each other, mutter some words in their native tongue and then look back at you and say, "Eat, it's good. It's meat."
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
How about a RPG based on real life?
World of warcraft was fun, but the fantasy orcs and elves bullshit got gay after awhile. They really need to make a mmorpg based on the races we have here on earth. Below is a list of races and their special attributes. Each race has their own spells and special abilities. For those who don't know, MMORPG means massive multiplayer online role playing game.
Asian race: starts with +15 intelligence, +15 dexterity, +10 wisdom, -15 endudrance -15 strength, -5 charisma.
Earns gold faster and are better merchants when it comes to trading. They can't see as far into the distance and aren't as skilled in horseback riding, but more than make up for that by being able to cast level 20 spells while only being level 15. Having a -10 strength handicap at the beginning means they can't carry as much items in their bags and their melee combat damage is lower. Their high dexterity allows them to be more acrobatic and are more accurate archers.
The negro race: starts with +15 charisma, +15 strength, +10 speed, -25 intelligence,-15 luck.
Runs faster and jumps higher than all the other races. Best class for the black race is the thief. Their extra charisma helps them charm the towns folks into giving them better prices, but their lack of intelligence makes them the worst race for the magic using class. They get a +5 attribute bonus when communicating with other players of the female gender, but thir lack of luck might get them randomly attacked by wild animals in the forest.
The caucasian race: starts with +10 strength, +25 endurance, -15 charm, -10 wisdom.
Hands down the best race for the warrior class. The caucasian race excels at melee combat and have the most hitpoints due to their high starting endurance. The caucasian class suffers from a low starting charm and this results in not being able to persuade town NPC's to give information and better pricing. Their lack of wisdom can make their spell casting less efficient than the Asian race. Their high strength allows them to carry the most items out of all the other races. The caucasian race also suffers -5 to all attributes when combating other players of the negro race because they're scared of the negro race.
The Mexican race: starting abilities are +15 cunning, +25 sneak, -15 intelligence, -5wisdom.
The Mexican race is the race to play if you're looking to be a rogue. Rogues require a high sneak attribute in order to sneak around borders and towns. Is the only race that is able to pickpocket other players. Their high cunning allows them to deceive other players more easily. Having a lower intelligence makes this race handicapped when it comes to choosing a magic casting class.
The Arab race: +25 spirituality, +45 willpower, -35 intelligence, -25 strength.
Can only be played by veteran players only. The race cannot be played unless players have completed the game using other classes first. The Arab race is a specialized race. Their low intelligence and low strength makes them useless for choosing warrior or spell casting classes. The only viable class for the Arab race to play is the sapper class. The sapper classes use their expert experience in explosives to take down their combative foes. Having such a high willpower allows the Arab races to perform, "suicide" attacks. Such attacks are extremely effective against large groups of monsters or players
So the above listed races are the races players can choose at the beginning. But it doesn't end here. Players can choose to mix their races and produce offspring that are of mixed race. Mixed race offspring grow up to take on the strength and weaknesses of the two races he or she is. For example: if an Arab race and black race player decide to mix and produce offspring, the child will grow up to very good at using explosives and running fast, but will lack the intelligence to be 100% succesful in his or her attempts to blow shit up.
So here we have it. A new mmorpg I'm going to submitt to Blizzard entertainment to see if they want to buy my idea for their new up and coming game. I believe this game will be a hit because nothing sells better than race.
Asian race: starts with +15 intelligence, +15 dexterity, +10 wisdom, -15 endudrance -15 strength, -5 charisma.
Earns gold faster and are better merchants when it comes to trading. They can't see as far into the distance and aren't as skilled in horseback riding, but more than make up for that by being able to cast level 20 spells while only being level 15. Having a -10 strength handicap at the beginning means they can't carry as much items in their bags and their melee combat damage is lower. Their high dexterity allows them to be more acrobatic and are more accurate archers.
The negro race: starts with +15 charisma, +15 strength, +10 speed, -25 intelligence,-15 luck.
Runs faster and jumps higher than all the other races. Best class for the black race is the thief. Their extra charisma helps them charm the towns folks into giving them better prices, but their lack of intelligence makes them the worst race for the magic using class. They get a +5 attribute bonus when communicating with other players of the female gender, but thir lack of luck might get them randomly attacked by wild animals in the forest.
The caucasian race: starts with +10 strength, +25 endurance, -15 charm, -10 wisdom.
Hands down the best race for the warrior class. The caucasian race excels at melee combat and have the most hitpoints due to their high starting endurance. The caucasian class suffers from a low starting charm and this results in not being able to persuade town NPC's to give information and better pricing. Their lack of wisdom can make their spell casting less efficient than the Asian race. Their high strength allows them to carry the most items out of all the other races. The caucasian race also suffers -5 to all attributes when combating other players of the negro race because they're scared of the negro race.
The Mexican race: starting abilities are +15 cunning, +25 sneak, -15 intelligence, -5wisdom.
The Mexican race is the race to play if you're looking to be a rogue. Rogues require a high sneak attribute in order to sneak around borders and towns. Is the only race that is able to pickpocket other players. Their high cunning allows them to deceive other players more easily. Having a lower intelligence makes this race handicapped when it comes to choosing a magic casting class.
The Arab race: +25 spirituality, +45 willpower, -35 intelligence, -25 strength.
Can only be played by veteran players only. The race cannot be played unless players have completed the game using other classes first. The Arab race is a specialized race. Their low intelligence and low strength makes them useless for choosing warrior or spell casting classes. The only viable class for the Arab race to play is the sapper class. The sapper classes use their expert experience in explosives to take down their combative foes. Having such a high willpower allows the Arab races to perform, "suicide" attacks. Such attacks are extremely effective against large groups of monsters or players
So the above listed races are the races players can choose at the beginning. But it doesn't end here. Players can choose to mix their races and produce offspring that are of mixed race. Mixed race offspring grow up to take on the strength and weaknesses of the two races he or she is. For example: if an Arab race and black race player decide to mix and produce offspring, the child will grow up to very good at using explosives and running fast, but will lack the intelligence to be 100% succesful in his or her attempts to blow shit up.
So here we have it. A new mmorpg I'm going to submitt to Blizzard entertainment to see if they want to buy my idea for their new up and coming game. I believe this game will be a hit because nothing sells better than race.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
New reality tv series.
It seems like reality tv programming is at a decline. People are tired of watching people survive in a forest for weeks or try to sing their way to stardom. We need a new type of show that will bring some entertainment to the boring lives of the masses.
This is what I propose. A reality tv show based on the holocaust! Yes, the casts of the show will have to spend two weeks locked up in a concentration camp designed to look just like the ones in 1945 Germany. To make the show realistic there will be Nazi guards there beating and abusing the contestants on a daily basis. In order to win the show the contestants will have to sleep in their own filth, try to avoid daily beatings and spend countless hours in factories producing military equipment for the German army. There will also be wild card rounds where the contestants have to run for their lives and try to hide or else they'll be chosen for the gas chamber.
How does this sound? I think it will work. People love the holocaust! Look at all the movies made about the subject. There are holocaust museums, memorials and theme parks. Kids in school spend a whole week on the subject and we're constantly being reminded of the tragic event. I say this show would be a blast! Wheres your sense of humor?
This is what I propose. A reality tv show based on the holocaust! Yes, the casts of the show will have to spend two weeks locked up in a concentration camp designed to look just like the ones in 1945 Germany. To make the show realistic there will be Nazi guards there beating and abusing the contestants on a daily basis. In order to win the show the contestants will have to sleep in their own filth, try to avoid daily beatings and spend countless hours in factories producing military equipment for the German army. There will also be wild card rounds where the contestants have to run for their lives and try to hide or else they'll be chosen for the gas chamber.
How does this sound? I think it will work. People love the holocaust! Look at all the movies made about the subject. There are holocaust museums, memorials and theme parks. Kids in school spend a whole week on the subject and we're constantly being reminded of the tragic event. I say this show would be a blast! Wheres your sense of humor?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Retards, Geniuses, Blacks and Europeans. Words and the real meanings we ascribe to them.
If one were to say, "there are a lot of retards in this restaurants" we would automatically think that person is an asshole for making such a rude remark.
If the same person were to say, "there are a lot of geniuses in this restaurant" we wouldn't think much of the comment because society says being a retard is bad and undesireable and being a genius is a good thing.
Replace retards and geniuses with blacks and Europeans.
If the same person says, "that place has a lot of black people" we would think this person is a racist, but if this same person were to say, "that place has a lot of Europeans" we wouldn't think much of it.
The reason? Because society labels being, "black" as a bad thing. Same with the term, "Mexican". In the dictionary these words are just used to describe a person's ethnic and racial background, but in reality these words have ascribed meanings attached by society.
It's good to be European, it's good to be thin, it's good to be tall so you can talk about these groups without someone accusing you of making fun of this group. But if you talk about blacks, Mexicans, fat people, retards and Jews you're automatically thought of as an asshole since it is assumed you're making fun of this group since this group isn't, "desireable".
"I work with a bunch of Mexicans" vs "I work with a bunch of Swedes"
So the next time some liberal faggot vegan white guy corrects you for not being politically correct in your language, punch him in the mouth. He deserves it for being a undercover racist.
If the same person were to say, "there are a lot of geniuses in this restaurant" we wouldn't think much of the comment because society says being a retard is bad and undesireable and being a genius is a good thing.
Replace retards and geniuses with blacks and Europeans.
If the same person says, "that place has a lot of black people" we would think this person is a racist, but if this same person were to say, "that place has a lot of Europeans" we wouldn't think much of it.
The reason? Because society labels being, "black" as a bad thing. Same with the term, "Mexican". In the dictionary these words are just used to describe a person's ethnic and racial background, but in reality these words have ascribed meanings attached by society.
It's good to be European, it's good to be thin, it's good to be tall so you can talk about these groups without someone accusing you of making fun of this group. But if you talk about blacks, Mexicans, fat people, retards and Jews you're automatically thought of as an asshole since it is assumed you're making fun of this group since this group isn't, "desireable".
"I work with a bunch of Mexicans" vs "I work with a bunch of Swedes"
So the next time some liberal faggot vegan white guy corrects you for not being politically correct in your language, punch him in the mouth. He deserves it for being a undercover racist.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The reason there cannot be a white history month or a white pride day.
A lot of people complain about not being able to celebrate a white pride day or having a white history month. I know it may sound unfair because blacks get a black history day and when Mexicans have a brown pride parade it's not considered racist.
Heres the reason why you can't have a white pride parade. It's because you motherfuckers take it too far. When blacks have a black pride parade they march around the streets holding their fist in the air, have some public rap music dancing contest and then call it a day. When Mexicans have a brown pride parade they take it ot the park and have one bigass bbq then call it a day. But if white people were to have a white pride day you'd start off all nice and clean, but you would end the day by beating minorities and try to organize a coalition to deport brown people.
That's why you can't have a white pride day. You take it too far.
Heres the reason why you can't have a white pride parade. It's because you motherfuckers take it too far. When blacks have a black pride parade they march around the streets holding their fist in the air, have some public rap music dancing contest and then call it a day. When Mexicans have a brown pride parade they take it ot the park and have one bigass bbq then call it a day. But if white people were to have a white pride day you'd start off all nice and clean, but you would end the day by beating minorities and try to organize a coalition to deport brown people.
That's why you can't have a white pride day. You take it too far.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Traveling abortion salesman
With the economy the way it is, I'm thinking of supplementing my income by getting into the mobile abortion salesman industry. Basically I would travel door to door in poor minority neighborhoods and see if my services are needed. The procedure would be done in the back of my van and we dispose of everything free of charge.
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