Forget the new IPhone 6, get an AK-47

People are lining up to get the new IPhone 6. I'm not going to do it. I don't even line up for restaurants. I'm not sure why everyone rushing to get one of these phones. It's almost the same as the previous versions. Personally, I'd rather get an AK-47 than a new phone. I think it's more useful in the world we live in. I'm going to list the pros and cons of each and you decide.


Iphone 6

Pros:
Larger (feel better when shoved in your ass due to more girth)
Expensive (good for our economy)
Can be used to dial 911 in case someone tries to gaybash you.


Cons:
Larger (may tear your anus when shoved in your ass due to more girth)
Gay
Expensive
Useless
Will be outdated when the newer model comes out next week
Can't protect you during a robbery
Won't ever appreciate in value
Signals to others you are a homosexual and are open to homosexual advances
Dialing and Texting is still subpar when compared to a phone with buttons


AK-47

Pros:
Can be used to defend yourself, your family and people you care about
Will appreciate in value over time
Can be used to rob people of their Iphones( I would advise against this because people may think you're gay for wanting one)
Works even if you put it in water, leave it in the sand, throw it around and generally beat the shit out of it.
If you own one of these, no one will ever think you're a fag
No one will ever try to gaybash you if you have one of these so there's no need to dial 911
If you have a gun, you don't need to call or text anyone. Let the gun do the talking