Business ideas. What could go wrong?

I work 9 to 6 and I hate it. I gotta put up with unoriginal shit in the office all day long. Sometimes I go to the bathroom and pretend to take a crap just to get away from it all. Other times I eat a bunch of lousy Mexican food the night before so the next day I could go to the bathroom and really take a crap just to get away from it all.

 If I quit my job and find employment elsewhere, I'll just end up putting up with unoriginal shit all day long in another office. Same nonsense, different building.

 So I'm thinking about going into business. I had a few ideas, but most of them don't seem plausible because I'm sort of lazy and unmotivated. But there's this one idea I think may work. It's a good service that some people can use.

 The idea goes like this. I'm going to offer a service to business owners who want to get rid of local competition. What will happen is, my client will pay me a, "marketing fee" or, "consulting fee" and I will put his chosen competition out of business by strategically placing, "undesirables" inside their restaurant or place of business. By undesirables I mean blacks and Mexicans.

For example: prime time for any restaurant is usually 6:00pm every night of the week. I will bring my group of undesirables and flood the whole restaurant and take up all the tables. They will order the cheapest item on the menu along with a nice inexpensive(free) glass of water and chit chat for two hours or more. This will effectively cause the targeted restaurant to make very little money for that night and every night because all the tables are taken up.

 Can the restaurant refuse service? Sure they can. But if they do, they're racist!!! What? You don't want to serve blacks or Mexicans? You hate minorities? I'll call the motherfucking NAACP and the news media will pick this shit up immediately because the U.S media loves this stuff. They love stirring up racial tensions, but that's another story.

 Sounds pretty cruel, right? Sure, but in this economy you gotta do what you can to survive. Now to show that I'm not that big of prick, I will offer the restaurant owner whom I've been paid to target a chance to stop it all. They can pay me a, "marketing fee" or, "consulting fee" and the undesirables will stop coming in. Hell, if they pay me enough of a, "fee" maybe I'll turn my undesirables back onto the original client who paid me to do all this.

It's a win-win business idea. The blacks and Mexicans get to enjoy a good meal, I get paid a lot of money and the business owners get to enjoy a little diversity. Everyone wins!