Forget the new IPhone 6, get an AK-47

People are lining up to get the new IPhone 6. I'm not going to do it. I don't even line up for restaurants. I'm not sure why everyone rushing to get one of these phones. It's almost the same as the previous versions. Personally, I'd rather get an AK-47 than a new phone. I think it's more useful in the world we live in. I'm going to list the pros and cons of each and you decide.


Iphone 6

Pros:
Larger (feel better when shoved in your ass due to more girth)
Expensive (good for our economy)
Can be used to dial 911 in case someone tries to gaybash you.


Cons:
Larger (may tear your anus when shoved in your ass due to more girth)
Gay
Expensive
Useless
Will be outdated when the newer model comes out next week
Can't protect you during a robbery
Won't ever appreciate in value
Signals to others you are a homosexual and are open to homosexual advances
Dialing and Texting is still subpar when compared to a phone with buttons


AK-47

Pros:
Can be used to defend yourself, your family and people you care about
Will appreciate in value over time
Can be used to rob people of their Iphones( I would advise against this because people may think you're gay for wanting one)
Works even if you put it in water, leave it in the sand, throw it around and generally beat the shit out of it.
If you own one of these, no one will ever think you're a fag
No one will ever try to gaybash you if you have one of these so there's no need to dial 911
If you have a gun, you don't need to call or text anyone. Let the gun do the talking

You can't spell Rape without India

For some reason guys in India love to rape. Single rape, gang rape, goat rape, cow rape, ass rape, rape plus torture, rape plus murder, rape plus rape. They just love raping. This really makes the country look bad because most of the world think of all Indian men as creepy, ugly, dirty, smelly, rude, perverted rapists. This isn't true. Only about 80% of them are. So India needs a new marketing campaign to change their image in the world. Now, it's tough to change someones mind about a place. I don't care how much money they put into promoting their country, I'm still going to consider Indians dirty rapists.

Since it's almost impossible to change someone's mind once it's made up, why not just take the stigma of being a rape free-for-all country and run with it? Market it, sell it to the world. Promote the fuck out of it! Instead of India: Rape Capital of the world. We'll call it a, "Rape Destination". That's right. Come here if you want to get raped by creepy smelly brown men. Your dreams come true. Rape vacation. Girls gone wild. You get to enjoy guilt-free sex with strangers, for free. Sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes multiple times walking down the same street. Hey, it's not your fault. You didn't consent to it.

Think of how much fun you'll have. You'll never know when it's coming. It's part of the suspense. Hey, is that fruit seller on the corner whose been is eyeing you going to knock you unconscious and affectionately take your belongings from you? Or how about the three men in dark business suits talking on their phone by the corner cafe? You do love men in suits, don't you? They are tall, dark and possibly handsome (most likely not, but they're surely dark).

So India should really think about my idea. Forget about trying to turn that shit-hole country around and trying to become civilized. Make it into a destination type country. Men visit Ukraine for the abundance of prostitutes, Thailand for the lady boys and Mexico for the donkey sex shows. It's about time women have a place to visit to fulfill their desires and India could be that place. India: Rape Destination of the World. Come and get it.