Thursday, May 13, 2010

Planning a documentary/road trip to arizona. Need people to pretend to be mexican

So me and about 10 people are going to go to arizona with hidden cameras. We will all be dressed up like mexicans and drive around town and see if any cops will pull us over. We are going there in 3 vehicles (2 large vans and a crappy station wagon)

Now the crew I have coming with me consist of people from all backgrounds. We will all be dressed in khaki pants four sizes too big and flannel shirts.

The point of this documentary would be to see how fast we get pulled over by cops and how they will harass us. When they do pull us over and notice we're not Mexican we are going see if they still want to check our birth certificates or resident ID's.

The video will be posted on youtube afterwards just for laughs. It should be funny.

Anyone who wants to come is welcome. If you're asian, you may have to wear sunglasses, if you're black you may have to not come (no offense, you're too dark to look the part). Of course you will have to bring your own supplies (large khaki pants, bandanas, flannel shirts, belt clips with a Letter on it and maybe some chuck taylors.

We are heading out there May 27th and should be back home before June 1st. We already have lodging and will be more than happy to let you crash with us if you don't mind sharing a room with a bunch of fake mexicans.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I'm all for gay marriage

as long as it's between a woman and a woman. And they have to be attractive. Both of them. They also have to touch each other in public so people(I) can watch.

College

Wanna get away from blacks and mexicans? Go to college. You might have to put up with orientals, but thats a different story.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Dude I'm not a racist nor am I a homophobe

My brother is dating a black man.

Online personal ads

You had me at young, attractive and adventurous


but you lost me at black female.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Imagine this scenario

You get invited over to a family dinner by a friend who just so happens to be Chinese. You sit around the dinner table with them and everyone starts eating. You take a few pieces from a dish, eat it and then ask them what it is because you love it so much.

The mother and father look at each other, mutter some words in their native tongue and then look back at you and say, "Eat, it's good. It's meat."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

How about a RPG based on real life?

World of warcraft was fun, but the fantasy orcs and elves bullshit got gay after awhile. They really need to make a mmorpg based on the races we have here on earth. Below is a list of races and their special attributes. Each race has their own spells and special abilities. For those who don't know, MMORPG means massive multiplayer online role playing game.


Asian race: starts with +15 intelligence, +15 dexterity, +10 wisdom, -15 endudrance -15 strength, -5 charisma.

Earns gold faster and are better merchants when it comes to trading. They can't see as far into the distance and aren't as skilled in horseback riding, but more than make up for that by being able to cast level 20 spells while only being level 15. Having a -10 strength handicap at the beginning means they can't carry as much items in their bags and their melee combat damage is lower. Their high dexterity allows them to be more acrobatic and are more accurate archers.

The negro race: starts with +15 charisma, +15 strength, +10 speed, -25 intelligence,-15 luck.
Runs faster and jumps higher than all the other races. Best class for the black race is the thief. Their extra charisma helps them charm the towns folks into giving them better prices, but their lack of intelligence makes them the worst race for the magic using class. They get a +5 attribute bonus when communicating with other players of the female gender, but thir lack of luck might get them randomly attacked by wild animals in the forest.

The caucasian race: starts with +10 strength, +25 endurance, -15 charm, -10 wisdom.

Hands down the best race for the warrior class. The caucasian race excels at melee combat and have the most hitpoints due to their high starting endurance. The caucasian class suffers from a low starting charm and this results in not being able to persuade town NPC's to give information and better pricing. Their lack of wisdom can make their spell casting less efficient than the Asian race. Their high strength allows them to carry the most items out of all the other races. The caucasian race also suffers -5 to all attributes when combating other players of the negro race because they're scared of the negro race.

The Mexican race: starting abilities are +15 cunning, +25 sneak, -15 intelligence, -5wisdom.
The Mexican race is the race to play if you're looking to be a rogue. Rogues require a high sneak attribute in order to sneak around borders and towns. Is the only race that is able to pickpocket other players. Their high cunning allows them to deceive other players more easily. Having a lower intelligence makes this race handicapped when it comes to choosing a magic casting class.

The Arab race: +25 spirituality, +45 willpower, -35 intelligence, -25 strength.
Can only be played by veteran players only. The race cannot be played unless players have completed the game using other classes first. The Arab race is a specialized race. Their low intelligence and low strength makes them useless for choosing warrior or spell casting classes. The only viable class for the Arab race to play is the sapper class. The sapper classes use their expert experience in explosives to take down their combative foes. Having such a high willpower allows the Arab races to perform, "suicide" attacks. Such attacks are extremely effective against large groups of monsters or players

So the above listed races are the races players can choose at the beginning. But it doesn't end here. Players can choose to mix their races and produce offspring that are of mixed race. Mixed race offspring grow up to take on the strength and weaknesses of the two races he or she is. For example: if an Arab race and black race player decide to mix and produce offspring, the child will grow up to very good at using explosives and running fast, but will lack the intelligence to be 100% succesful in his or her attempts to blow shit up.

So here we have it. A new mmorpg I'm going to submitt to Blizzard entertainment to see if they want to buy my idea for their new up and coming game. I believe this game will be a hit because nothing sells better than race.