Why didn't Japan ally with France during the war?

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I've noticed something about the French and Japanese. They're both small in stature, the men from both countries are pretty gay and their food doesn't fill you up.

Whenever I go to a Japanese restaurant (not that I ever would), I always have to order a lot more food. It's not because I'm a fat ass: because I am, it's because these fucking Japanese restaurants don't play fair. They know they can give you less and you'll put up with it because Japanese food is supposed to be an art. Well it's not art. It's not even food.

Now I know that Japanese eat more than just fish turd stuffed with rice; they also eat chicken, beef and other animals, too. This I can tolerate. I do like beef so that's what I usually order. The whole beef thing is fine, but leave it to the Japanese to fuck things up once again. Instead of just giving you your meal, they insist on doing some juggling tricks with it.

Here's what I'm talking about.





If you ever been in one of those trendy yuppie type Japanese restaurants then this scene looks all too familiar. The gentleman pictured above doesn't even look Japanese. He looks like a god damn Mongolian. What a rip.

Now when sitting down waiting for my child sized serving of Teriyaki beef, I can't help but think "what the hells this guys problem, why can't he just stop dicking around with the food and put it on my plate already"? When it comes to food I don't care much for presentation. Put it on a plate, put it in a bowl, serve it on a phonebook I don't care. I just don't want the chef to toss it around and have it land on his head before serving it to me. That's gross, especially since Mongolians don't wash their hair.

When it comes to French food, what you're really paying for is the entertainment. You get to be served by some jackass waiter who is originally from Kentucky. He'll come to your table dressed up in a tuxedo and try to pull his French 101 bullshit on you. Don't fall for it. This jackass isn't French. He isn't even European. I don't care if he's trying to pay his own way through college. That type of behavior is unacceptable.

There isn't much I can say about French food except it represents their country, culture and people as a whole. All presentation and no substance. You think those cute little fancy French cuisines can stand up to a 1/2 pound bratwurst? Not a chance. It was proven during the war.

So now you're in on the secret. You know that Japanese and French food is a total rip off and shouldn't be consumed. You now know never to go to these establishments unless you're super hungry. In that case, eat shit.