I'm sorry you're gay

It seems like everyone wants an apology nowadays. What for? Is it going to make you feel better? It's not. Your ancestors got their ass kicked a long time ago and an apology isn't going to reverse it. You can't reverse an ass being kicked. The best you can do is surrender and move on: like the Japanese.

Now here's a group of people you gotta respect. They realized their country was pretty lame and outdated so they went on a mission to develop their military. They did pretty well for awhile, kicked some ass and then got nuked, twice. Do you ever hear of Japanese people bitching about shit? Never. They just cleaned up all that nuclear fall out and started some really good automotive, electronic and appliance businesses. Not a damn word.

So your grandparents were slaves, so what? At least they got to work outside. I bet the weather was great. None of that stuck in a cubicle bullshit people have to put up with nowadays.

Your country was invaded by Germany? Japan? Rome? They took your resources, your bitches and made you learn their language? Why didn't your grandparents fight back? And if they did, why didn't they fight harder? Why did they give up? I'll tell you why, it's because your grandparents sucked. They sucked at fighting off the foreign invaders and they most likely sucked at life, too.

I do understand that apologies have it's place in society. For instance if you accidentally sleep with your friend's fiance, then yes, you should probably apologize. If you slept with her twice, then apologize twice.

It's when these liberal sissies demand apologies for past events that makes this whole thing ridiculous. I have an idea though. If these people who want apologies from countries that have commited these past injustices then the country who is apologizing should be able to apologize any way they want.

For example:

From Britain to India.

Dear former colony #37,

I would like to express my deepest regrets for what my ancestors did to your ancestors. It was quite a shame that you little weak people couldn't fight back. You had close to 500 million people back then, but you still couldn't cut it. What the fuck is wrong with you people? You won your independence a long time ago, but your country has not progressed. You still smell and you still worship the same cows. What the fuck is your problem?

Regards,

Great Britain

_______________________________________________

Or maybe this.

From United States to Mexico

Dear Mexicans,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Don't you miss California, Arizona and Texas? Yep, sorry about that. Although I think those states are better off being a part of the U.S, I still can't help but imagine what they would be like if we hadn't kicked your ass in the war and taken them away from you. Maybe they would have been a total shit whole like your entire country. I guess we'll never know.

p.s I'm sorry about your country's conditions, but stay the fuck out of ours.

Sincerely,
Some random jackass American

___________________________________________________


I think everyone should stop crying and maybe learn a little something from a small country like Romania. Romania has been bullied by everyone past and present. You don't hear, see or read about Romanians crying do you? I don't, but it's because there is no television, writing or internet in Romania. They don't even have electricity, what a piece of shit.

k

Why didn't Japan ally with France during the war?

k
I've noticed something about the French and Japanese. They're both small in stature, the men from both countries are pretty gay and their food doesn't fill you up.

Whenever I go to a Japanese restaurant (not that I ever would), I always have to order a lot more food. It's not because I'm a fat ass: because I am, it's because these fucking Japanese restaurants don't play fair. They know they can give you less and you'll put up with it because Japanese food is supposed to be an art. Well it's not art. It's not even food.

Now I know that Japanese eat more than just fish turd stuffed with rice; they also eat chicken, beef and other animals, too. This I can tolerate. I do like beef so that's what I usually order. The whole beef thing is fine, but leave it to the Japanese to fuck things up once again. Instead of just giving you your meal, they insist on doing some juggling tricks with it.

Here's what I'm talking about.





If you ever been in one of those trendy yuppie type Japanese restaurants then this scene looks all too familiar. The gentleman pictured above doesn't even look Japanese. He looks like a god damn Mongolian. What a rip.

Now when sitting down waiting for my child sized serving of Teriyaki beef, I can't help but think "what the hells this guys problem, why can't he just stop dicking around with the food and put it on my plate already"? When it comes to food I don't care much for presentation. Put it on a plate, put it in a bowl, serve it on a phonebook I don't care. I just don't want the chef to toss it around and have it land on his head before serving it to me. That's gross, especially since Mongolians don't wash their hair.

When it comes to French food, what you're really paying for is the entertainment. You get to be served by some jackass waiter who is originally from Kentucky. He'll come to your table dressed up in a tuxedo and try to pull his French 101 bullshit on you. Don't fall for it. This jackass isn't French. He isn't even European. I don't care if he's trying to pay his own way through college. That type of behavior is unacceptable.

There isn't much I can say about French food except it represents their country, culture and people as a whole. All presentation and no substance. You think those cute little fancy French cuisines can stand up to a 1/2 pound bratwurst? Not a chance. It was proven during the war.

So now you're in on the secret. You know that Japanese and French food is a total rip off and shouldn't be consumed. You now know never to go to these establishments unless you're super hungry. In that case, eat shit.

Picking the right numbers

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Mexican men are awesomer than American men

I was at this Mexican taco place for lunch. While waiting for my food I watched some Mexican TV show they had on. The thing about Mexicans is they don't try to be politically correct. You ever notice that in a lot of American type television shows or news stations they always have attractive girls? And they always try to make the girl look useful by giving her a few lines and have her speak her mind.

Not Mexicans. They don't screw around with details. They just put girls with big tits on the screen and have them dance around. I mean whats the point in trying to make them broads look useful? You think just because she says a few words about some current event or the economy men are going to respect her? No god damn way.

You ever stare at a girls tits when she walks by? And then her ass when she walks away? Sure you do, but you do it secretly because you're a sissy American. We think its rude to stare at a girl so we do it when she's not looking. Stare at her when she isn't looking, then when she looks over you hastely look away. You know, creep her out.

Mexicans are a bit different. They don't secretly look at girls. They don't half ass it. They stare at her 100%. You get a group of Mexican men together they'll hoot and holler at girls non stop construction site or no construction site. If they're drunk then one of them might even grab her ass. You gotta respect that.

What about alcohol? You ever heard a Mexican talk about drinking wine? How about a nice glass of 18 year old Scotch? I haven't. You know why? They don't drink that shit. They know that 18 year old Scotch only costs that much because some lameass guy at the distillery pissed it every single day for 18 years straight. You're paying for the time. You're paying for the labor. Mexicans know its a ripoff, they're onto their games.

They only drink beer. And I'm not talking about that Corona bullshit these sissy yuppy financial advisors drink when they want to explore cultural diversity. No I'm talking about real beer real Mexicans drink. Like Modelo or Tecate. You goto any respectable Mexican restaurant and try to order a Corona, the chef will fucking cut you. Thats it.