I'm thinking about getting one of those brick phones from the late 90's. The ones that have a big antennae sticking out of it. Even better if it's connected to a suitcase.
The thing is every asshole brain surgeon, businessman, high school student, jr. high student, construction worker, janitor, homeless person and Puerto Rican has a new touch screen flip phone. It's gay when the guy who cuts your grass has a more expensive phone than you. I say fuck it. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones, or in California's case, the Hernandez's.
I'm going back to a big giant brick phone. It'll be hard to carry around. I'd have to get larger pants with deeper pockets, but the good news is maybe a rap star will notice my super OG big pants and invite me to be in a rap music video. Or maybe not. Fuck Al Gore.
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