Michael Jackson was wrong. It does matter if you're black or white.
I wanted to find out if people in Orange County were a bunch of pussy liberals. I posted two personal ads on craiglist: one posing as a white woman, the other a black woman. The ads were both pretty similar in content. Both expressed pro racial views and both were seeking men who were pro black or pro white in their outlook.
I predicted the pro white personal ad would result in a lot of hate mail and the eventual deletion of the personal ad. I predicted a different outcome for the pro black personal. Not only would people accept it, but no one will send me hatemail.
Here are the two ads I posted.
The first one:
Title: White female seeking WHITE man
Just like the title says. I'm seeking a racially aware white male around my age. By racially aware I mean you are proud of your white heritage and are not a liberal apologetic sissy boy. I'm 25, cute, active and very caring. I don't have kids or anything. I've never dated anyone who wasn't white, and it would be great if you hadn't either. Please do not email me if you're not a racially aware white man. I am not interested in anyone else and will not respond to your emails.
Tattoos displaying your proud heritage are a definite plus. A huge plus if you are a skinhead or into that scene.
If you're interested please send me an email and talk to me about some of the recent pro white books you've read lately. I just finished Mein Kampf and the Turner Diaries. What did you read?
Here is the second personal I posted posing as a black woman.
Second email:
Black woman seeking Black man
Hi boys,
My name is Bernice and I'm seeking a man between the ages of 26-35. Please only email me if you're black and fit into the age group. I won't respond to emails from guys who are not black. I've never dated outside my race because I think it's wrong. It would be great if you feel the same way.
A little about myself. I'm college educated and am currently working as a counselor in high school. I enjoy reading about African history and heritage. It would be great if you were into your own history and roots.
I just read a few books about Malcolm X, Elijah Muhammad and OJ Simpson. Please email me if you're interested in finding out more and we'll see where this leads :)
Bernice
As I predicted, the pro white posting was automatically responded to by hateful and threats while the pro black posting didn't. I know the two postings are not identical, but the contents within are similar. Both expressed racial pride, both expressed the desire not to interbreed and both talked about books that are either pro white or pro black. Maybe people like the name, "Bernice" more than "Cheryl"? I sure as hell wouldn't. When I think, "Bernice" I think fat black bitch.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Petition to force Chinese to change their language
I've decided to take the fight to the Chinese. Who the hell do they think they are? Did you know in Chinese the word for female monk is "nee-gu"? That sounds too much like the word we use to insult black folks. That is unacceptable. It's two thousand and fucking nine. This type of racism needs to stop. There is no room for hate.
Instead of sitting by and letting this insult affect our wonderful African American community, I've decided to start a petition to force the Chinese government to change their language. They can change the word to anything they want. Anything is fine as long as it doesn't insult African Americans or Jews. Everyone else is fine.
The petition can be signed here
http://www.petitiononline.com/bruce123/petition.html
It will only take a few minutes to sign and you would have done your good deed for the day. Please help me fight the good fight and bring dignity back to the African American community. Like I said, the petition signing will only take a minute. If you don't do it, you're racist.
Instead of sitting by and letting this insult affect our wonderful African American community, I've decided to start a petition to force the Chinese government to change their language. They can change the word to anything they want. Anything is fine as long as it doesn't insult African Americans or Jews. Everyone else is fine.
The petition can be signed here
http://www.petitiononline.com/bruce123/petition.html
It will only take a few minutes to sign and you would have done your good deed for the day. Please help me fight the good fight and bring dignity back to the African American community. Like I said, the petition signing will only take a minute. If you don't do it, you're racist.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
President Obama's historical trip to Ghana
Where'd he go? I can't see him. He's gone! Oh wait, never mind there he is.
Fat ugly girls with great personalities!
I don't like fat chicks, you don't like fat chicks, nobody likes fat chicks. It's even worse when she's an ugly fat chick. I'm tired of people defending fat ugly girls by saying, "well she probably has a great personality". A great personality doesn't cover up her grotesque appearance. Infact a great personality on a fat ugly chick only makes her worse. Heres why.
When a girl is fat and ugly, the best she can do for herself is stay in the house. If she absolutely has to leave her house then she should act as a deaf mute. She shouldn't say anything, shouldn't look anyone in the eye and should hurry the hell up doing what she needs to do then get back to her house double speed.
The last thing we need is a fat ugly girl with a great personality. With a great personality comes more talking and more public time. That would mean the general public would be forced to "endure" this stupid bitch more than they have to.
Here is the hierarchy when it comes to fat ugly chicks. It goes from best case scenario to worst case scenario.
1) Fat ugly chick who doesn't talk much and doesn't have a drivers license. Doesn't have legs either.
2) Fat ugly chick who does have a drivers license, but no car. She borrows her parents car sometimes, but not often. She has legs, but they won't carry her since she's so fat.
3) Fat ugly chick who has a drivers license, legs and a car. She's fat, but her legs are strong enough to carry her around public.
4) Fat ugly chick who not only has working legs, a drivers license and a car, but also loves to go to the mall, talk a lot and is always trying to strike up a conversation with people.
Like mentioned in the fourth scenario; fat ugly chicks who are mobile and talkative are a nightmare. Your chances of meeting one of these out in public are doubled if she thinks she's one of those, "hot fat ugly chicks". Nowhere do they exist, except in their own minds.
A fat ugly girl with high self esteem can be trouble. In order to combat this, you need to take every opportunity to put the hog down. A simple comment like, "hey bitch" followed by an elbow to the grill works pretty well.
In a perfect world, there would be no fat ugly girls. I know our world isn't perfect, so the best we can do is lock these hogs up. Since everyone is in agreement that fat ugly chicks are not welcome, do yourself a favor; don't feed the animals.
When a girl is fat and ugly, the best she can do for herself is stay in the house. If she absolutely has to leave her house then she should act as a deaf mute. She shouldn't say anything, shouldn't look anyone in the eye and should hurry the hell up doing what she needs to do then get back to her house double speed.
The last thing we need is a fat ugly girl with a great personality. With a great personality comes more talking and more public time. That would mean the general public would be forced to "endure" this stupid bitch more than they have to.
Here is the hierarchy when it comes to fat ugly chicks. It goes from best case scenario to worst case scenario.
1) Fat ugly chick who doesn't talk much and doesn't have a drivers license. Doesn't have legs either.
2) Fat ugly chick who does have a drivers license, but no car. She borrows her parents car sometimes, but not often. She has legs, but they won't carry her since she's so fat.
3) Fat ugly chick who has a drivers license, legs and a car. She's fat, but her legs are strong enough to carry her around public.
4) Fat ugly chick who not only has working legs, a drivers license and a car, but also loves to go to the mall, talk a lot and is always trying to strike up a conversation with people.
Like mentioned in the fourth scenario; fat ugly chicks who are mobile and talkative are a nightmare. Your chances of meeting one of these out in public are doubled if she thinks she's one of those, "hot fat ugly chicks". Nowhere do they exist, except in their own minds.
A fat ugly girl with high self esteem can be trouble. In order to combat this, you need to take every opportunity to put the hog down. A simple comment like, "hey bitch" followed by an elbow to the grill works pretty well.
In a perfect world, there would be no fat ugly girls. I know our world isn't perfect, so the best we can do is lock these hogs up. Since everyone is in agreement that fat ugly chicks are not welcome, do yourself a favor; don't feed the animals.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
911? Theres some Mexicans in my yard
If you're like me, you have people who come over once or twice a week to trim the hedges and blow away all the leaves in your yard. They're usually Mexican or something. If you're also like me, you have a very sick sense of humor and take every opportunity to try to fuck with someone. It doesn't have to be anything malicious. Just something simple and light hearted; like calling the police on your gardeners.
If you're home during the day you would have had the wonderful opportunity of seeing these guys come over to your house and start cleaning up your yard. They usually come in pairs and come equipped with landcaping equipment and gardening tools. They don't usually bother you. They just go about their business without much trouble. In my book this doesn't disqualify them from being fucked with.
I was thinking about calling the cops on these Mexicans. You know, just as a practical joke. I'm sure both the cops and these gardeners will get a good laugh. Consider it an April fools joke, in July. This is what you do. Next time they're in your yard trimming the hedges, you call the police.
Dial 911 and when the operator picks up you tell her, "excuse me, there are a few suspicious looking men in my backyard. I think they're of Hispanic descent. They might be armed, one of them has a shovel. Please send help quick". Be sure to tell the operator to inform the cops you're locked in your room hiding and to just go into the backyard when they arrive.
When the officers arrive, they'll probably draw their guns and make the gardeners drop their weapons(shovels and leafblower). They'll restrain them with handcuffs and get into some questioning. Not before slamming them against the wall and delivering a knee to the liver first. Gotta follow procedures. Then before things really get out of hand, you open the door to your back yard, jump out and and yell, "surprise! April fools". Imagine how funny it would be.
By doing this you not only show your gardeners you have a great sense of humor, it also sends a warning to all the other gardeners in your neighborhood: Don't fuck with the USA. Bitch!
If you're home during the day you would have had the wonderful opportunity of seeing these guys come over to your house and start cleaning up your yard. They usually come in pairs and come equipped with landcaping equipment and gardening tools. They don't usually bother you. They just go about their business without much trouble. In my book this doesn't disqualify them from being fucked with.
I was thinking about calling the cops on these Mexicans. You know, just as a practical joke. I'm sure both the cops and these gardeners will get a good laugh. Consider it an April fools joke, in July. This is what you do. Next time they're in your yard trimming the hedges, you call the police.
Dial 911 and when the operator picks up you tell her, "excuse me, there are a few suspicious looking men in my backyard. I think they're of Hispanic descent. They might be armed, one of them has a shovel. Please send help quick". Be sure to tell the operator to inform the cops you're locked in your room hiding and to just go into the backyard when they arrive.
When the officers arrive, they'll probably draw their guns and make the gardeners drop their weapons(shovels and leafblower). They'll restrain them with handcuffs and get into some questioning. Not before slamming them against the wall and delivering a knee to the liver first. Gotta follow procedures. Then before things really get out of hand, you open the door to your back yard, jump out and and yell, "surprise! April fools". Imagine how funny it would be.
By doing this you not only show your gardeners you have a great sense of humor, it also sends a warning to all the other gardeners in your neighborhood: Don't fuck with the USA. Bitch!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Gym survival guide
For those of you unlucky enough to have to use a public gym, you're probably aware of the consequences of such misfortune. You've either had to stare at some woman's fat ass for forty five minutes while running on the treadmill behind her,(not because you're trying to stare at her whole-hog, but because her hog takes up your whole field of vision) or you've come into contact with men who like to dry their balls with a blow dryer in the locker room.
Such atrocious sites and acts are not uncommon in public gyms. Having witnessed some of these atrocities myself, I've decided to write a survival guide for those who must endure the general public.
Survival rules:
#1 Do not chat up the 40 something fat divorcee.
This is very important. She may seem harmless and friendly on the outside, but on the inside she's secretly trying to corner you into a conversation about her failed marriage. She'll talk about how much of a jerk her ex-husband was and how she was never appreciated. Before you know it she'll be telling you, "you're nice" and offering up her email/telephone number so you two can get together so she can tell you more about her failed marriage. Just end the problem before it even starts. Don't talk to her.
#2 The guy who wears Tapout T-shrits/hats and MMA accesories is there to fight you.
Don't believe what people say. Guys who wear those MMA(Mixed martial arts) T-shirts aren't just fans. They wear them so they can get in fights with people. Guys who wear those shirts to the gym are there to fight you! That's right, you. It doesn't matter that he's just minding his own business doing curls in the squat rack, he's there to fight YOU. You need to take the initiative. You need to take the first swing at him. It's best to hit him while he's in the middle of doing his curls. This way you can get a few shots in before he arm bars you.
#3 "Hey, you got pretty good form, how much is your squat max?"
That's gay code for, "hey I was checking out your ass while you were squatting, wanna go to the locker room and lick each others balls?" This one is up to you. If you're gay then go for it, but get off my site. If you're straight and don't want him to lick your balls then just pretend you didn't hear him. If he presses the issue report him to the front desk for sexual harassement.
#4 Young 16-18 year old girls with large tits and a fuck-me ass.
When you see young attractive girls who dress in an inviting manner, you must go up to her and say something crass. Something along the lines of, "hello" followed by a grab to her hog will do. If you don't do this she'll think you're gay. She'll spread rumors about your gayness all around the gym, then the next thing you know guys will start coming up to you and asking, "how much you squat".
#5 Attractive moms with their attractive daughters.
When an attractive mom is at the gym with her attractive daughter, it's, "girls night out". They're out to get laid. Just go up and grab their hogs. Why do this? See rule number four.
#6 When taking a shit at the gym, take the handicap stall
What a dickhead move you say? It's not about being dick, it's about survival. The larger handicap stall allows you more maneuverability. Having the extra room allows you to escape the many attempted butt rapes that occur each year in public gyms. You'll really appreciate the extra two feet of leg room you have when the assailant attempts to grab your legs from underneath the door.
#7 After taking a shit(in the handicap stall) never wash your hands
You really think other people wash their hands? Nobody at the gym washes their hands. It's a hassle. Nobody wants to do it. When you put your hand on the 25lb dumbell, what you're really doing is putting your hand up some guys ass. Or it could be some woman's ass. A fat woman's ass. Who knows. The point is nobody washes their hands, and you shouldn't either. You're not special. Don't try to be a hero.
#8 When another man approaches you and asks, "how many sets do you have left?"
He isn't really asking you that. He's not interested in using the machine after you. No, he's challenging your dominance. He's really trying to start a fight with you. "How many sets do you have left" really means "you prick, wanna go?". When an attractive woman asks you that she really means, "rub my hog please". But when a fat woman says it she means, "you prick, wanna go?" Be sure to take necesarry action.
#9 Always try to go to the gym as early as possible
When you go to the gym early in the A.M, you'll mostly run into old retired people. The great thing about old retired people is they're easy to boss around. They can't do shit back. You push one off the treadmill, he can't fight back. His seventy year old friends can't help him either. They're too old. But watch out for the ones in the Tapout/MMA t-shirts. They'll armbar you.
#10 "King dick rules the gym"
This is a quote to live by. If you're king dick, you get first dibs on any machine, any treadmill, any piece of ass(man or woman). It's okay if you're not really a strong guy. You just need to appear strong. Forget about working your legs. Nobody looks at your legs, especially if you're always wearing long pants. Just work up your chest and arms, wear cutoff shirts and a beanie. Walk around with a mean look on your face and pick on people. Just don't mess with the guys doing squats or deadlifts, because they'll fight back and kick your ass.
Well, there you have it. Public gyms like public anything can be a jungle. There are strict guidelines one must follow in order to survive and even thrive. By following my survival guide you'll not only avoid multiple attempts of rape to your ass, but you may even score some ass of your own(man or woman).
Such atrocious sites and acts are not uncommon in public gyms. Having witnessed some of these atrocities myself, I've decided to write a survival guide for those who must endure the general public.
Survival rules:
#1 Do not chat up the 40 something fat divorcee.
This is very important. She may seem harmless and friendly on the outside, but on the inside she's secretly trying to corner you into a conversation about her failed marriage. She'll talk about how much of a jerk her ex-husband was and how she was never appreciated. Before you know it she'll be telling you, "you're nice" and offering up her email/telephone number so you two can get together so she can tell you more about her failed marriage. Just end the problem before it even starts. Don't talk to her.
#2 The guy who wears Tapout T-shrits/hats and MMA accesories is there to fight you.
Don't believe what people say. Guys who wear those MMA(Mixed martial arts) T-shirts aren't just fans. They wear them so they can get in fights with people. Guys who wear those shirts to the gym are there to fight you! That's right, you. It doesn't matter that he's just minding his own business doing curls in the squat rack, he's there to fight YOU. You need to take the initiative. You need to take the first swing at him. It's best to hit him while he's in the middle of doing his curls. This way you can get a few shots in before he arm bars you.
#3 "Hey, you got pretty good form, how much is your squat max?"
That's gay code for, "hey I was checking out your ass while you were squatting, wanna go to the locker room and lick each others balls?" This one is up to you. If you're gay then go for it, but get off my site. If you're straight and don't want him to lick your balls then just pretend you didn't hear him. If he presses the issue report him to the front desk for sexual harassement.
#4 Young 16-18 year old girls with large tits and a fuck-me ass.
When you see young attractive girls who dress in an inviting manner, you must go up to her and say something crass. Something along the lines of, "hello" followed by a grab to her hog will do. If you don't do this she'll think you're gay. She'll spread rumors about your gayness all around the gym, then the next thing you know guys will start coming up to you and asking, "how much you squat".
#5 Attractive moms with their attractive daughters.
When an attractive mom is at the gym with her attractive daughter, it's, "girls night out". They're out to get laid. Just go up and grab their hogs. Why do this? See rule number four.
#6 When taking a shit at the gym, take the handicap stall
What a dickhead move you say? It's not about being dick, it's about survival. The larger handicap stall allows you more maneuverability. Having the extra room allows you to escape the many attempted butt rapes that occur each year in public gyms. You'll really appreciate the extra two feet of leg room you have when the assailant attempts to grab your legs from underneath the door.
#7 After taking a shit(in the handicap stall) never wash your hands
You really think other people wash their hands? Nobody at the gym washes their hands. It's a hassle. Nobody wants to do it. When you put your hand on the 25lb dumbell, what you're really doing is putting your hand up some guys ass. Or it could be some woman's ass. A fat woman's ass. Who knows. The point is nobody washes their hands, and you shouldn't either. You're not special. Don't try to be a hero.
#8 When another man approaches you and asks, "how many sets do you have left?"
He isn't really asking you that. He's not interested in using the machine after you. No, he's challenging your dominance. He's really trying to start a fight with you. "How many sets do you have left" really means "you prick, wanna go?". When an attractive woman asks you that she really means, "rub my hog please". But when a fat woman says it she means, "you prick, wanna go?" Be sure to take necesarry action.
#9 Always try to go to the gym as early as possible
When you go to the gym early in the A.M, you'll mostly run into old retired people. The great thing about old retired people is they're easy to boss around. They can't do shit back. You push one off the treadmill, he can't fight back. His seventy year old friends can't help him either. They're too old. But watch out for the ones in the Tapout/MMA t-shirts. They'll armbar you.
#10 "King dick rules the gym"
This is a quote to live by. If you're king dick, you get first dibs on any machine, any treadmill, any piece of ass(man or woman). It's okay if you're not really a strong guy. You just need to appear strong. Forget about working your legs. Nobody looks at your legs, especially if you're always wearing long pants. Just work up your chest and arms, wear cutoff shirts and a beanie. Walk around with a mean look on your face and pick on people. Just don't mess with the guys doing squats or deadlifts, because they'll fight back and kick your ass.
Well, there you have it. Public gyms like public anything can be a jungle. There are strict guidelines one must follow in order to survive and even thrive. By following my survival guide you'll not only avoid multiple attempts of rape to your ass, but you may even score some ass of your own(man or woman).
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