Difference between black people and white people

I've noticed something. When black people ring my doorbell, it's usually for different purposes than when white people ring my doorbell.

Today some white people rang my doorbell and wanted to talk to me about my relationship with Jesus Christ. What the hells wrong with these people? My relationship with anyone is my business. My relationship with Jesus could be great, or it could be horrible. Who are they to ask me? It's none of their business. Jesus and I could be gay ass buddies for all they know, it's none of their business.

When black people ring my doorbell, they usually don't ask me about my relationship with Christ. I can respect that. But then they get into the whole, "yo brotha, you wanna buy some magazines? Come on, help a brotha out, I'm a recovering crack addict".

We don't pay extremely high property taxes and extremely high prices for a house here to be bothered with this nonsense. Jesus christ.

Underwear

I don't really like underwear. It always getting stuck inbetween my ass and it's redundant. The whole point of pants is to cover your dick. Why wear two layers? I bet underwear was invented by some fat feminist lesbian who accidentally saw some dudes cock when his pants fell.

She then started some campaign to promote the wearing of another layer underneath the first layer of pants. This way if some guys pants accidentally falls again, the fat bitch will be shielded from the cock by the extra layer underneath.

Fat lesbians ruin everything.

This is what happens when your country contains 1.5 billion people.

You got the tallest and shortest person in the world. Theres something about the little guy that makes me want to punt him. I think it's his face. I think if I had the chance to fight these two guys I'd punt the little guy and headbutt the big guy in the balls. It just seems right.

Good practical joke.

I was stuck in traffic so I had time to think. I was thinking about good ways to fuck with people.

Hows this? You break into a sperm bank at night and switch all the labels on the jars of sperm. Next day a woman walks in and requests a sample of sperm from a tall white man, light hair with light eyes. She takes the jar of sperm home, shoves it up her ass and nine months later she ends up with a black baby.

All because you swapped the labels for the tall white man with the label for the midget black man with a bad kidney.

Pretty good joke if you ask me. Laughs all around. It's sure to brighten up anyones day. As for the woman not laughing? Her fault she doesn't have a sense of humor. Fuck her.

What's worse than Indian tech support?

Vietnamese tech support. Imagine having to get tech support from some guy in Vietnam. If you thought Indian tech support was tough to handle, try Vietnamese. The Vietnamese language is one of the most unpleasant languages to listen to. It's even worse when they try to speak English with their native accent. Have you ever heard a bunch of small dogs barking at each other? That's what it sounds like. Fuck India, fuck Vietnam and fuck you.

LOOKING FOR FIRED UP LIBERAL ACTIVISTS! (Central OC)

I decided to fuck with this broad. She made a job posting on craiglist looking for some young liberal activists to go door to door to sign people up to vote.

Here is her original posting.

_______________________________

Title: LOOKING FOR FIRED UP LIBERAL ACTIVISTS!

Are you progressive, enthusiastic and ready to make a difference?

The Democratic Party needs hard working canvassers to go door-to-door registering people to vote in Orange County.
Pay is weekly at $10.00/hr to start, plus gas.
NOT paid per signature OR by commission!!!
Work environment is very young, flexible and casual- great for students!

Email resumes to Gredna at *****@gmail.com or 562 ***-3932

_______________________________

And here is the email I sent her.

Hi Gredma,

I saw your liberal activist posting on Craiglist. I think I would be able to offer a lot of value to your group. First let me start by saying I am not a liberal. Infact I despise liberals, but don't let that sway your decision to hire me. As a conservative republican I have the work ethic to help your cause. You say you need people to go door to door to register people to vote? I can do that. Infact with my extensive knowledge and experience in business, I can probably use the $10 an hour you pay me to hire out a bunch of Mexicans to go door to door for me so I can just act as the middleman. Smart thinking eh? I can do more. As you may already know, Orange County is a pretty conservative area. What you young liberals need is someone who looks good in a suit. Conservative republicans love that stuff. They'll eat it up. If your group drives up in a bunch of Prius hybrid vehicles while dressed in T-shirts with peace signs on the front, people aren't going to take you seriously. You need a man in a suit, and that man is me. Let's set up a time the two of us can meet. If liberals and conservatives both work together, we can accomplish what we're really trying to accomplish: getting rid of the illegal Mexicans in our community. Am I right?

Let's talk,
Willie K.

Craiglist. Want to learn how to walk like a black man? Got rims to trade?

I made this post on craiglist to see if anyone wanted to learn how to walk like a black man. I've never seen this type of service advertised before. If this service existed I would be the first to sign up because I would totally want to be able to walk like a black man. Anyways the post is below here. I will add the email responses I get once they're available.

_____________________________________________

Okay here it is. I'm offering my services to you as a black man. Have you ever wondered how a black man can walk the way he does? The swagger, the confidence, the bounce the poise. What is it? If you're not black you aren't born with it. Good news is you can always learn. If you want to learn you have to learn from a black man because that's where this walk originates from. Others try to immitate, but they don't get it right. The leave out the important parts. They leave out the details.

I'm offering my services to you in exchange for some rims. That's right. I'll teach you how to walk like a black man for a set of 18" rims. I'll also accept 19" if you got those, but no smaller. They don't necesarrily have to be chrome, but that would be nice. If they're spinners, then I'll throw in a free session of learning how to talk like a black man. You know, that smooth deep deep charming way to talk to a woman.

Learning how to walk like a proper black man is not easy. The learning session should take about four hours. I will teach you step by step and make sure you're actually catching on before we move on. By the end of our time together you will be walking like a 100% legit black man. Nobody will ever question your background. If it weren't for your skin color all the brothas out there will think you're one of their own.

If you're interested in this trade, go ahead and send me an email and we can go from there.

Best regards,

Trey D.
Authentic Black Man